Nearly nine in ten women who struggle with their mental wellbeing admit to keeping their struggles hidden
In a quiet corner of a bustling Hertfordshire café, Jenny, a 54-year-old mother of two, sits alone nursing a lukewarm cup of tea. She gazes out the window, her thoughts a swirling mix of worry and exhaustion. For years, she has battled waves of anxiety that roll in uninvited, yet she has chosen to keep her struggles hidden, believing that others have heavier burdens to bear. “I’ve always felt it was my responsibility to hold everything together,” she reflects. “If I open up, what will my family think? I can’t be a burden.”
The Silent Epidemic
A new survey from the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) confirms Jenny’s experiences are far from unique. Nearly 90% of women over 50 who grapple with their mental wellbeing admit to concealing their challenges. Conducted with insights from 2,000 women, the study reveals a concerning trend: while many face mental health issues, significant numbers avoid seeking help. Joanne Arnold, a psychotherapist practicing in Hatfield, describes this phenomenon as an “epidemic of silence.”
“So many women are caught in a cycle of prioritizing others’ needs and neglecting their own,” Arnold explains. “This nurturing instinct is commendable, but it often leads to a profound sense of isolation and despair.”
Common Symptoms Among Women Over 50
The BACP survey outlined various symptoms that many women experience. Key findings include:
- 59% report issues with sleep, ranging from insomnia to unrefreshing rest.
- 58% feel heightened anxiety, even over trivial matters.
- 38% avoid social events, fearing judgment or feeling overwhelmed by interactions.
These numbers illustrate a disconnect between the struggles many women face and their inability to voice these concerns. “We live in a society where talking about mental health is still seen as taboo, especially for women who feel they should be ‘strong’ and ‘resilient,’” notes Dr. Elena Kauffman, a psychologist and researcher who specializes in midlife mental health. “This leads to a perfect storm of silence around the very real issues they face.”
Barriers to Seeking Help
According to the BACP survey, more than 40% of women who acknowledge facing mental health struggles still shy away from seeking support. The reasons are diverse but deeply rooted in social expectations. Arnold outlines several key barriers:
- Fear of Judgment: Women often worry about how they will be perceived if they admit to struggling.
- Economic Constraints: Many women feel that therapy is a luxury they cannot afford, especially if they are caretakers for family members.
- Cultural Stigmas: In many communities, there remains a stigma associated with mental illness, particularly for older women.
In the words of Dr. Kauffman, “These barriers create layers of shame that can inhibit women from taking the crucial step of reaching out for help.”
The Role of Community and Conversation
Joanne Arnold urges women to break the cycle of silence through open dialogue. “The change starts with conversation. When women begin to share their experiences, it normalizes the struggle and encourages others to seek help,” she says. “But it isn’t just about speaking up; it’s also about finding supportive listeners.”
Cathy, a 57-year-old who previously hid her anxiety, is now part of a local support group where women share their feelings candidly. “It was terrifying at first, but once I opened up, I realized I wasn’t alone,” she shares. “Now, I feel empowered to seek help when I need it.”
Strategies for Empowerment
Addressing mental health requires more than just conversations; actionable strategies can also help women take control of their wellbeing:
- Find a Community: Look for local support groups or online platforms where sharing experiences is encouraged.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Acknowledge your feelings without judgment; remember that it’s okay to struggle.
- Seek Professional Help: Even a single session can provide relief and perspective.
Dr. Kauffman emphasizes the importance of these strategies for empowerment. “Taking these steps not only helps individuals but can also create a ripple effect in communities,” she notes. “When one woman finds her voice, it encourages others to do the same.”
As Jenny finally sips her now-cold tea, she reflects on her own journey. “Maybe it’s time I stop thinking about being a burden and start prioritizing myself,” she muses. With the support of others like her, women can break the chains of silence, transforming their mental health struggles into stories of resilience and hope.
Source: hellorayo.co.uk

